I had an "I live
here!!!!!?!?!?!?" moment today.
I have them sometimes. They come in two forms.
One form is the type that is accompanied by a contorted grimace of revulsion or sadness and usually occurs in response to one of the following:
1. Berlusconi is on TV saying something incriminating, or having laws made to protect his dealings (actually they rules against his random law-making recently, not that it will change much).
2. I see old ladies curled up on the sidewalk with their hands outstretched. OLD LADIES. They aren't using it for drugs, that's for sure. Why are they so poor? Or, I see desperate buskers board subway trains and begin to play, badly, on a broken violin or a crap accordion, smiling in vain at the obviously annoyed passengers, as their malnourished child goes around and holds out a duct-taped coffee cup.
3. I read stuff like
this. Italy's right-wing government doesn't give a ... about gay rights, until three days ago? How many young gay Italians have to conceal their physical injuries and refuse to go to hospitals when they are beaten, because they haven't come out to their parents? How many clubs have to be raided, how many have to emigrate with their partners, how may have to die before this country realizes it's living in a really warped, religion-steeped vacuum?? There was another beating in Rome this week, the homicide rate is way up, and Berlusconi is under fire for a lot of other things, so maybe it's an opportunity to score some points by pouring some of his hard-earned money into a subway ad campaign that will just get defaced by the belligerent youth for whom it is too late, who have learned too early and too well what's right and wrong. Not that I'm proposing a solution. It's a deep-seeded problem. But you might be able to tell I think it's an important one.
4. I try to do things that are green and fail because the facilities don't exist (eg, must take elevators or escalators, must throw out paper or plastic, must use 1290843 sheets of paper to properly document coursework for teaching because everything is so complicated here, must take receipt for every single purchase made because otherwise the police will question whether you stole it, nowhere to compost, too dangerous to bike here, list goes on). Stay tuned for when I try a No-Impact challenge in one of the self-admittedly least green places on earth.
Sometimes, these moments are accompanied by absolute awe and wonder, amusement, reverence, and any combination of these and other similar emotions. Today's was like this and happened on the roof of a building, which, if you're going to have an epiphany, is just as good a spot as any, really. They happen on occasions such as the following:
1. I wander around an ENORMOUS church on a Monday afternoon when I have nothing better to do, see the preserved body of a dead archbishop and numerous very lovely paintings, and then take an elevator to wander around on the ROOF of said Duomo, from which you can see the ALPS and also all the little people and pigeons in the square below, and all the cranes and church spires and wee skyscrapers of Milano around you and all the saints presiding over the cities from their perches on the church spires are at eye level. The gargoyles are fantastic close up. ANd the Madonnina really is a wee little Mary made of gold perched on the topmost spire. THe spires are backlit by the sun and everything looks cream-coloured.
I sometimes have a really hard time getting over the fact that there is so much history just strewn about the cities here, and people go about their daily modern lives as if nothing were amiss, with no air of reverence, no eggshells underfoot, no neck-craning and google eyes. It's amazing to me that I can rush across a square in a hurry to get somewhere and not even notice that the square, and its subway stop, is named after the tenth-century church that is smack in the middle of it.
2. I have chocolate for breakfast, and that's not only OK, it's advised.
3. I sit on the tram or the subway and look around, and there are Italians, Africans, probably Brits and Canadians and Americans, Filipinos, Chinese and Japanese, and I know we all have at least one thing in common: we all speak great Italian. At home I don't take it as a given that you speak English, although most people do speak it. Some speak French, and some don't have a great level of English at all. Sure, in other parts of the world, it's probably the same- in South Korea, I imagine the dominant language is Korean, for example. But this is Europe, where languages mix a lot more easily, and in Italy, the 4 big ones (French, English, German, Italian) are taught in high school. In countries like Germany, the default fall-back is English; France I would imagine too. In Sweden they practically all speak fluent English, as far as my experiences with Swedes demonstrate. Here, you can't really get by -- as a resident -- without a perfect understanding of Italian and a really good ability to speak. Most Italians have very little to no English, ditto French and German. So there is that one thing that each and every one of us on that tram has struggled with and achieved. In a weird way, it's unifying and comforting.
4. Cities are circular and orbit around a main piazza. Life takes place in outdoor open spaces. They are always crowded with people walking, talking, sitting, eating, taking pictures, on cell phones, hanging out. I love piazzas. Why don't we have enormous open public spaces in the middle of downtown where you can set up runways for outdoor fashion shows and rock concerts, and that house enormous artifacts of history called Duomo's, EVERYWHERE?
To me this is indicative of a major cultural difference. It isn't just the church thing. Intersection after intersection in Toronto or New York, laid out in grids that really go nowhere; streets in parallel, angled bunches converging periodically in hubs with bars, banks, street markets, PEOPLE, that help define neighbourhoods and city zones, help drivers easily navigate between zones via roundabouts, and provide a mental and physical resting place from GOING. Which would you rather?
Having these points of arrival along your journey makes it meaningful and somehow, easier. At home I go from point A to point B. Here I go from point A to say, G or H with all the letters in between. I see more and experience more along the way. And resting points are built in. Just like siesta. Yes, that does happen in Milano, too.
5. People have met other opera singers before and they are familiar with the major works in the canon. Most have been to see at least one, usually in their hometown's theatre, and they probably liked it. They might even know someone who could help me, or their mom is a voice teacher. Opera happens everywhere. It's on TV, it's in small towns and it's relatively cheap. Your average Joe knows the words to La donna è mobile, Largo al Factotum, Una Voce poco fa, every soprano aria written by Puccini, and of course Va Pensiero. Entire blocks of streets are named after composers.
My point is... well, do I have to make it? I still haven't gotten over the novelty that I am not a novelty.
I never said it would all be roses, and Italy is a backwards country in a lot of ways. But there are some serious payoffs.